I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
