I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
