I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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