i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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