you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
