It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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