the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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