Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
