I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
