Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
