called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
