I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
