...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
