your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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