why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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