She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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