There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't notice because vodka
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
how does that bad decision feel?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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