Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
