is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
