Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
