i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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