I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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