I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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