3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
