I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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