You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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