R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
