This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
