how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I cut my penus on the lid.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
