The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The air was thick with penises
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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