i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
