I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
