do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize