I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
