I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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