It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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