if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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