That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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