just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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