i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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