he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
