just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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