If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
