it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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