so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
