READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
