I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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