Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
