How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
