Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
