At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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