omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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