Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Watching her eat just hurts me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You were trust falling into bushes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
