...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
