I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
