I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
home. puking in laundry basket.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
