He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
